Jenn hallowes
"Cause I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still, verdictless life. Am I living it right?" - John Mayer, "Why Georgia"
It's a restlessness I've had my entire life. Keep expanding. Learn more. Grow, grow, grow. Bump into the corners of your comfort zone and push them further. It's exhilarating and exhausting. It's all in the and, not the or.
The hardest part about writing an 'About Me' page is that it requires solidity of mind, ideology, and values.
A person has to know oneself in a way that is categorical and based in at least moderate permanence. One has to be identified enough to fill in the blank after "I am ____."
These are principles with which I have a truly dissonant relationship.
On the one hand, I crave freedom to expand in my thinking, grow in my relationship to self, and see life through an ever-cultivated lens of uncondition. I want to look at everything and see the "ok-ness" of it all. I want to be a vessel for observation, appreciation, and the truest expression of love. I resist being defined in any way which may limit me.
On the other hand, there are times I take myself to places in thought, relationships, and physical life that are way too far outside of my comfort zone.
It's my intention to share this process to the extent possible because I can personally think of no greater source of suffering than a human being desiring change but being terrified (for very valid reasons, no doubt) to create it.
Thus turning my life into a big experiment, and leaving the pillars of identity that kept me concretized.
So if I must characterize myself in a way that puts the expression that is Jenn inside of a box, I think it's safe to say that I'm comfortable defining myself by the following tenants:
In making life an experiment, it's easier to accept failure if things don't work out. We are more willing to take action that a needed outcome would completely prohibit.
In being curious like children inherently are, we can avoid cementing ourselves in frameworks of rigid thinking that prevent the very movement necessary to change.
In desiring a state of neutrality for how we relate to others and ourselves, all outcomes can exist and manifest. There then, is value found in every single moment of life.
CAVEAT: I one hundred and fifty percent will have no problem being in the box that is called John Mayer's wife. Just so we're all clear for when that happens. ;-)
We're all doing this human being thing together, and nothing I experience is different than what others experience. I'm simply choosing to share the inner journey so that we can objectify the unseen that keeps us trapped. We can learn from each other, heal alongside each other, and change thanks to others.
There is no journey more exquisite than the one experienced inwardly, and regardless of how many times we move locations, we will always and inevitably experience only what our mind limits us to experience.
This fact is what compels me. And it's what inspired Jenneral Thoughts. Welcome in. I'm so glad you're here.
Posts
Hard Conversations: A Journey Through The Choices That Shape Us
X: Xenacious: the art of chosen change
W: Wholeheartedly present: when blank pages speak
V: Vulnerable Communication Jack Harlow-style
U: breathing as the Universal exchange
T: Transurfing My Way Right Into (And Out Of) Being Stuck In The Snow
S: Sheila the Subaru takes Snow like a boss
R: the Resplendent sway of family love
Q: Query as self-reflection: love over location
P: nobody wants this Puny desire
K: the nature of Karma, and the Karma of nature
I: the Insidious architecture of fear
H: embracing the paradox of true Humility
G: Gratitude is a Bridge Built by Phil Collins
F: Flesh Out: Canvas to Creation
D: The Den-Sharing Dynasty: How Seventeen Cats Are Making Me More Human
C: Constellations, Constants, and Coldplay
B: Bears and Bud Light Seltzer
A: Disappointment AND Jubilation
Day 30: “I Don’t Paint Anymore”
Day 29: The Barometer of Curiosity
